Since when is Backstreet Boys considered Reggae?

Aside from the fact that users now have a LIMITED 40 hrs a month upon which they must pay or wait for the next month, Pandora Radio has gotten their genres a little mixed up.

I click on the Bob Marley channel, and a Backstreet Boys song comes on...Quite satisfactorily, I click on the 'thumbs down' button to tell Pandora not to play this crap anymore. The next song is...MORE FUCKING BACKSTREET BOYS!!! Since when is Backstreet Boys considered Reggae?!

Finally it gets on with the reggae, and much to my bitter amusement, Christina Aguilera comes on a few songs later...

Pandora is all about "A new kind of radio - stations that play only songs you like" They should have added "But we won't listen to your preferences and play whatever the hell we want anyway". At least it would have been an honest statement.

Pandora used to be cool. USED to be.

Now they have just fallen in with the rest of the money hungry wolves eager to sell sell sell. You used to be able to listen as much as you want, whenever you want (and they actually got the genres right!). Now, you actually have to plan on when you want to listen, and time it according to how many hours are left on your account, all in the hopes you don't run out.

40 hours is crap. That's a few days...if that...to us musical people.

Mission Possible

Contacted my brother in law David to come look at my van a week ago, he replaced all the brake pads and the two front rotors & calipers. I spent about $300-400 on parts and labor as opposed to paying $1000+ at the shops. Man, it's good to know somebody who's good with vehicles.

He finished yesterday afternoon. After bleeding the front brakes, I took it around the little gated-community circle thing I live in right now. I tested the stopping power, and it seemed to be working a lot better than having no brakes at all. But something was just not right. I pull back along the side of the circle, we both get out, and discover the back brake line blew.

David thinks it was from the act of bleeding the brakes, as I had never seen it leak before. So, that means more parts and labor...but it must be done if I plan on taking this thing camping and travelling.

Pics of the van coming soon!

High Maintenance Wonderland

I picked up some buds from my Sister Ashley last night, and gave her and her boyfriend Angel a ride to the mall and back since she had to get some scrubs for her work. She works in a medical office, I think they specialize in allergies and respiratory treatments or something. I had to use Heather's Mom's car, as the van is being worked on.

I personally do not like malls. I avoid them like the plague. After she picked up her scrubs, she decided to stop in the jewelry and makeup section of Macy's. You know, those well-lit areas with the makeup and jewelry displays that tend to have a thick cloud of various rich girl perfumes hanging in the air? You can usually find these places easily as the amount of light in there is almost blinding, and are populated by snobby women and the respective snobby staff with their fake plastered on smiles.

(funny note: denizens of the mall can always tell I am an outsider. I don't fit the part of a mall shopper, and the way I dress gives me away. Those snobby women in the high maintenance section don't even shoot me a glance hahaha)

You women try too damn hard. You can impress a lot of guys by just being yourself, and there are a lot of guys that do like the fake, high maintenance life-style. Makes them feel important I guess. Instead of spending $150 on some nasty ass perfume, why not spend that $150 on a camping trip to prove how COOL you are?! That would attract somebody who likes what you do, not what you smell like.

As a guy, I am not attracted to big fancy jewelry, flashy necklaces, perfume (yuck), etc...And I don't think most other guys are either. The ones that do like that kind of thing usually end up buying that crap for you anyway...from really expensive stores that specialize in really expensive jewelry. Not that $40-$50 crap you find at the mall.

Stop trying so damn hard, those models you see on TV that you wish you so desperately looked like are only going to make you feel bad about yourself. It's their job, why ELSE would they exist? Models hold no functional value in society except for looking good. Yay. How long can you make the high maintenance lifestyle last? You're going to get older just like everybody else does. I'm sorry, but that's how life works. When you get older, what do you want to say you have done with your whole life?

Worried about social status, how much stuff you acquired, and how you appeared to everybody around you? Or how full you lived and loved because you had no time for being fake? Being high maintenance takes away from the life experience. My opinion on this is not biased because I knew several people who were like this, and man, they HATED life.

Like I always say, you forget how to live, you may as well not be living at all...

Brainwashed America - 9/11

My Grandma made a statement to me last year: "You're sick for thinking George Bush & our Government was behind 9/11"

That whole conversation was brought about with her laying in to me (quite zealously) all her political beliefs and opinions. That conversation, come to think of it, was actually one sided with her doing all the talking. She then asked me what I thought of 9/11 and I told her I don't take anything at face value. When asked to elaborate, I explained to her that my method of uncovering the truth is to investigate/gather facts from both sides of the story, and simply see what makes sense to me.

Apparently, investigating anything outside of what we are told on the news was just nonsense to her. Now I know better than to try to explain an outside view to somebody so opinionated and closed-minded, and I usually just stop the conversation right there and walk away*. But she insisted I explain what I thought about 9/11.

I proceeded to tell her there are a lot of shady things surrounding the whole event, like the impossibility of both building collapsing the way they did, and how Bush probably knew about this happening and chose not to do anything about it. And, well, yeah...that didn't go over too well.

This post is not about my opinions or my Grandmas opinions (though she's absolutely insane). This is about when my eyes were opened to how blindly people will follow what they hear, and what they WANT to hear...

I think you'd have to be a complete dolt, or severely brainwashed to not question what is told to you. When you hear "...blew up central bus station today...insurgents...30 people killed, 16 missing..." - How do you know that's what really went down? Were you there? Unless you were down the street, meandering in a nearby alley, or actively participated in said events, no, you don't know what happened.

You are told what the news broadcasts and prints to the gen pop, and are expected to believe it. I'm not saying there is no truth there, but since news and propaganda is man made, it is subject to corruption. And once again, you'd have to be a complete dolt or severely brainwashed to not see there is MASS corruption in this age. We are in the Age of Information, and it is for the better or for the worse.

Your job, as a critically thinking human being is to discern for YOURSELF what makes sense to you. Blindly following what you read and hear is not a sign of intelligence, it is a sign of ignorance. Ignorance to the fact there are possibly more sides to any story. It's not too hard to lift your fingers and Google some answers. We are in the Age of Information, use it to your advantage.

"That's the internet, you can't believe anything on the internet! Why would I trust the internet?"

No, that's Wikipedia you're not supposed to trust :)

Once again, that's taking things at face value. Why would you trust the internet? Why would you trust ANY source of information? I'm not saying to go on one site, read some rants and posts, form an opinion and be done with it. That's not how research works. Research requires time (and a bit of investigative ability), and in the end you should have the feeling and satisfaction of thoroughly investigating enough to give you the sense of "I now know for myself what makes sense".

Don't take ANYTHING at face value. Not even my words, you should just take this as a push to find out what makes sense to you. If you discover conspiracy surrounding a story, now you are educated about such events, if you find what the news and media says is true, that's okay too. Bottom line is to get the facts for yourself and go from there.

*Such people usually do not care to hear what your opinion is, and get in to debates just to try to prove how wrong everybody else is. These people usually like to hear themselves talking as well.

Brainwashed America - Television

Wow, where do I begin?

I think I shall start with the obvious...

The average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hrs. a week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65 year life, that person will have spent 9 of those years glued to the tube.

That is sick. Really, that is horrendously appalling. We have America's Next Top Model, The Hills, Jersey Shore, Pretty Wild, Real World, Kendra, etc...

It's a known fact drama sells, and America delivers. Meanwhile, you have good people and children dying of famine and preventable diseases in third-world countries, as well as getting blown up and murdered by their own militia and governments. Hey, just as long as we live comfortably, screw everyone else, right?. No wonder the whole world hates America.

We have the means and resources to help the entire world, but for some reason we just don't. It's obvious third-world countries can not help themselves, otherwise they would have done so already. They need our help. We could come along and heal their sick, feed their hungry, and save so many lives that are needlessly extinguished by such preventable causes.

Either the powers that be in America do not care, all of America is ignorant to these facts due to mass brainwashing techniques through the media, or we really are a bunch of heartless fat asses that could really care less about anyone except for themselves and their immediate kin. I think it's a combination of all three, though I am leaning more towards that first one.

The powers that be do not like people capable of critical thinking. People capable of critical thinking are a very serious threat to the machine. If more and more people start doing this, we end up at a critical mass, and then the machine breaks down. What good are the powers that be without the people? If the people do not buy in to the mass hysteria that is America, their "power" accounts for absolutely nothing.

Say you are an elitist, one of the top secret governing powers in America. How would you stop this from happening?

*begin elitist thinking*

Mass brainwashing comes to mind. What do nearly all Americans do on a regular basis? Watch TV! So as an elitist, I would create ideas for shows which wind up making the women feel inferior, and the men feel the need to be macho. Playing on ego is a big strategy here, as everyone has an ego.

So we create some shows, better yet, "reality" shows, in which we get to see the drama of people's lives unfolding. The goal here is to make viewers wish they were these people, as they are usually people with a lot of money,  fancy homes, sweet cars, etc...The play on materialism is so huge here that the shows basically sell themselves.

Then we can disguise this plot even better with well thought out commercials. As an elitist, I know we can't fool everybody...but we can try. Of course commercials sell, but we also know how annoying they are to a lot of people. So the commercials will be funny, hip, include nice special effects & popular music..and behind this whole facade will be our subliminal message: BUY.

Then we will fabricate whatever the masses want to hear, and direct the respective news stations to report such things. In order to incorporate some truth in to these fabricated stories, so the wise guys can chase that instead of us, we will use actual events and create lies surrounding said event. If America wants to hear about 'terrorism', we will put a face on terrorism and let America enjoy it's child like finger pointing. Hah!

So what ends up being the product of this whole scheme is a blind, material craving America, with an insatiable desire to accumulate more "stuff", in the hopes that it will make them feel better about themselves. People will remain ignorant about the atrocities we are committing around the world, because they are so involved in our scheme that they won't have time nor care to investigate anything outside what the News tells them. Better yet, the ratio of brainwashed Americans heavily outweighs the ones not buying in to our corporate slave-state, and so their opinions and rants (like this one) will usually fall on deaf ears.

*end elitist thinking*

I now feel like part of my soul has left me after writing that. You really have to have no soul to be able to follow through with such things. How do I know all of this? Do some research and discover what makes sense to you. You will see I am only one voice in an increasing number of people awakening to this fact. If you are capable of critical thinking, all of this probably has already occurred to you...because frankly it's quite obvious what is happening.

Get off the couch, put down the remote, go outside, feel the breeze. If there is no breeze, ride your bike around town. Do some arts & crafts. Sketch, draw, paint a mural. Help that guy broken down on the side of the road. Read a book. Research on the internet (flash games do not count! 'guilty' lol). Go to the park, have a picnic. Watch people. Watch life manifest in it's infinite forms. It's so much more satisfying than being sucked in to the tube. That's my opinion anyway.

That's it for my take on TV, more topics coming soon!


p.s. -


Here's a good starting point for research, enjoy.


Zeitgeist the Movie
The Venus Project

An Eye For an Eye

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." - Mahatma Gandhi


Human behavior never fails to amaze me. Especially when it is conditioned, deeply ingrained behavior which one resorts to in the face of certain things. My inspiration for this entry is in light of some events that took place recently.


Unintentional wronging is corrected with intentional wronging. I am sorry, but that just does not make any sense to me whatsoever. The person I am talking about here, in my opinion, has a superiority complex. This person has major "princess" syndrome, and trust me...it's ALL about them. I try to accept everyone as my brothers and sisters, but I simply just do not have that ability with some people.


I have NO patience with people who are "above and beyond" everybody else, and do not stop to think about anyone except themselves. Hell, they've had a dog for 10+ years which they just totally neglect and expects everyone else in the household to take care of. It's really hard to piss me off, but selfishness I must admit is one thing that really irks me. I will tell it how it is if you are a selfish being without a care for others, and I could really give two shits how you feel about that. So there.


An eye for an eye, when will people just wake up and realize they are hurting themselves as well as the ones they are directing this negative energy towards? I know it's easy to feel that self-gratification of "getting even", and buying in to the illusion that you have somehow corrected the situation by causing a rift between said people. If you really believe this is the way to solve things, you are in for a hard life.


I am in no way perfect, and neither is anybody else. If I do you wrong, simply talk to me about it instead of being all sneaky and passive-aggressive. Really, that just makes you look bad, and anyone with a brain can see what you are doing. I actually find it kind of hilarious how people like this go on thinking they got away with it, and that I'm too stupid to notice. If only you knew the intellect you are dealing with.

Asturias

So I'm coming up with a playlist for performing at the beaches and boardwalks in Santa Cruz. Asturias (Leyenda) by Isaac Albéniz comes to mind. There's no way people will be able to just walk by and not stop to listen. If you have not heard Asturias before, Google that shit!

Also Rumba Tempestad, or just Tempestad by Juan Serrano would be awesome. That would be the perfect song to play on the beach.

I should think of about 11 more songs, to make it an even 13. Yes, an EVEN 13, think about that one for a while...

Mission Complete

Today's mission was to retrieve the van from that parking lot I left it in yesterday. After running some errands with Heather, we used her Mom's car, we went to the Kragen which just so happened to be in the parking lot the van was in. I picked up a funnel, some Dot 3 brake fluid, and some coolant that requires no water to mix with. I filled up a gallon of gas in a tank, and had to duct tape the funnel to the end of a thick plastic hose in order to get that gallon in to the van.

The gas tanks nowadays are made in such a way it is damn near impossible to get any of it in to the older vehicles, and you wind up spilling most of it on the ground. So that makeshift funnel/hose thing will be staying in the van for future use...thing looks more like a beer bong.

So it turns out the fluids were not the problem after all. Turns out the master cylinder was half full still, and the radiator was full as well. I put what I could of the brake fluid in, and put the coolant in the back. Oh well, it's good to have these things on hand for wshtf (when shit hits the fan).

I drove the van home, following Heather all the way. Man, that was a nerve-racking drive. It was only a couple miles, but a couple of miles with an uncertainty about whether or not you'll be able to stop in time is scary indeed.

Well, I made it back safely, mission accomplished, the van now sits outside. Now to accumulate the funds to get it worked on...looks like I'll be hitting up that Ford mechanic guy here shortly...

A wrench in the machine

Well, today has been an interesting, rather frustrating day.


Some dude called me off of craigslist with a free standing coat rack for $15, I talked him down to $10. I've been looking for one so to have a display for the various arts & crafts we will sell when in Santa Cruz. So this guy lives about 20 minutes away from me, it's a little drive. Well the van gets absolutely no MPG's whatsoever, and I underestimated how much gas I had to get there and back as I was not counting on the AC being the huge drain it was. I got a little lost on the way there, he lives in a really confusing suburb, and by the time I got there, the van was already on E. 


So, I buy the coat rack, i chat with the dude a little and leave (without the AC running now). Well, on the way to this guys house, the opposite lane of traffic was heavily congested so I decide not to come back this way upon returning home. The area was really confusing, familiar streets ended up turning in to different ones. I wasted even more gas getting lost. I just wanted to get back to a familiar area before/if I ran out. I ended up going back the way I came anyway, but the traffic thankfully had cleared up a bit by the time I got there.


Then the brakes start giving. I knew the van needed repairs, and now it is time. Just as I reach a familiar intersection, the brakes start getting dangerously low. I also notice the engine is running pretty hot. So I pull in to an inconspicuous spot in the adjacent plaza parking lot and call Heather for a ride home. It's sitting there now as I write this. Tomorrow I will bring some brake fluid, coolant and a can of gas and hope it's just the fluids making the van act funny. I'm really surprised I made it as far as I did before having to stop.


A wrench in the operation.


Without the van, the trip does not happen. However there are some things on my side at the moment: I took the placement test at Clovis Adult today, and I guess I scored really well. I qualified for independent study which will allow me to go as slow or fast as I want towards earning my HS diploma. So we have ample time before the trip to get the van fully worked on and roadworthy.


Also the guy I bought the coat rack from, I guess is some Ford certified mechanic or something. As I pulled up to his house he was outside replacing a block in one of several cars in his driveway. He says" Hey, sounds like you need 'this and this' done." I tell him that I do, in fact need the van worked on. He said he would accept $25 /hr rather than the usual $60 to $90 most shops charge, especially if I bring the parts to be replaced if any...


:) - I also got to smoke some really nice buds with my Sister Ashley, which was a very welcome feel good from the stress earlier today. Still don't understand how buds are illegal, but alcohol is okay...but that is a topic for another entry another day. I can go forever on that subject.


So here I sit typing this, feeling a little stony, Heather and Liam are on the bed behind me, and I have a new coat rack standing next to me which is slowly beginning to accumulate hemp objects to sell.


I wonder what tomorrow holds?

Old art (about 2004)

Here are some drawings I did about 5 or 6 years ago...please excuse the quality of the pictures, I just took pics rather than scanning them. I will post better quality ones of these and more in the future.

One of my favorites, the symbolism I aimed for was: The color signifies the unity and the Oneness which everybody is part of, where the black and white is old, outdated methods and beliefs that war and ruling people will make things better.

A psychedelic landscape. This is where I live in my head. (Why does everyone always draw a smoking chimney on a sunny day?)

Another one of my favorites. Nothing much to say about this one, it's a psychedelic mushroom

Trippy waterfall. The word "FALL" can be seen in the actual waterfall. It's kind of hard to see, but that's a three-eyed fish jumping out of the water. Heh.

How to Adventure

Okay so just how will this escape from Fresblow work? We're going to be living the nomadic life, so the usual creature comforts everyone is so used to will not be there, or at least be harder to attain. What follows is the method to the madness (as so many people would say we are mad for choosing to live this way).

One thing to keep in mind is we will have about $5000 for necessary expenditures, and as a fall back option, in case things happen, which they do.

"How will you stay clean?"

Join a 24 hr. fitness club. Can take showers whenever we want, and even work out should we feel the need. Just need to remember the water shoes, public showers are an ideal place to catch something through your feet. Might even get a few bath mats with suction on the bottom to bring in to shower with me.

"How will you eat?"

Currently we receive about $400 in food stamps a month. Only problem is to get food stamps, you have to have a residence and fill out monthly questionnaire forms. So we will just say we are still living at Heather's Mom's house, set up a P.O. box when we get to whichever place we decide to settle, and have our mail and stuff forwarded there. Cooking on the beach is no problem, people do it all the time. A little two burner propane camping stove and a little dollar store folding table is all we need for that, aside from the dishes and utensils of course.

"Where will you sleep?"

That one is obvious. We sleep in my van. It's a full size '85 Ford Econoline, back bench folds down in to a bed, built in cooler (need ice) and clothes rack in back. I drove this thing all the way from Ohio to California, and man, that was a very comfortable ride. It's in excellent shape, only has about 70,000 miles on it. Very very clean, very spacious. Curtain windows, CB radio, fuse switches in front roof panel to control 4 different light stages (one controls the window lights, looks very homey in the dark!). Will need to get a few things done to it before leaving, the brakes are acting a little funny...shouldn't be too much to get it fixed.

"People freak out about people sleeping in their cars, where will you park?"

That's why we're headed to the beaches, specifically Santa Cruz, where it's known for its quirky people and "alternative lifestyle". People camp at beaches all the time, so we'll just stay in one area for a few days, move a few miles up or down and stay another few days. Rinse & repeat. The van is relatively incognito, it does have the usual hippie stickers on it, but it blends in pretty well. Plus it's the beach man! Call me crazy for living on the beach, but I think you'd be crazy for NOT wanting to live at the beach! How about that coastal air eh?

"How will you take care of your electrical needs?"

Seriously? Nomads and gypsies have little to no need for electricity. Although recharging my laptop comes to mind. Can not Google and Blog on dead batteries...I say this one is situational. I'm going to look in to getting a deep cycle battery for the van. If that works, problem solved. If I am unable to get one, I'd just hit up libraries to plug in to for an hour or so. Also, frugal power settings on the laptop! Not many people set this properly for what their required power use is, and end up with dead batteries quite frequently. Our cell phones both fit my car jack, so that's taken care of.

"How will you pay your bills?"

The only bills to pay are cell phone bills, and if any, vehicle expenses, which will be forwarded to the P.O. box we set up in said town.

"How will you make money?"

Peddling our arts & crafts! Heather and I are creators of various macrame projects, specifically hemp jewelry. Necklaces, bracelets, anklets, belts, key chains, wall hangings, wind chimes, guitar straps, etc...Sitting on the beach or a boardwalk playing my guitar should also bring in some revenue. We can also hit up good ol' Craigslist on the laptop to seek out odd jobs, as well as permanent jobs.

"Gas prices are ridiculous, there's no way you can afford to keep driving around looking for jobs."


Very true. If that were the case. We will purchase a bike rack for the top of the van, and we will ride our bikes around town. Good way to meet the locals. Only way we're actually driving is if we absolutely need to. We can even get our son Liam one of those little tag along buggy things you attach to the back of the bike he can ride in.

"What will you do for fun?"

We're on the beaches. 'Nuf said.

"You're in Santa Cruz, the beaches, you're bound to run in to some crazies."


I am going to try to get a CCW (Carry Concealed Weapon permit), so I can travel with my .38 loaded at all times. If I am unable to get the CCW, I will see if it's legal to travel with the gun and bullets separate from each other in different containers or bags. If anything, I have my good ol' K-BAR knife lol. Also a very loud car alarm will be installed, which can be activated by me, remotely. That will end most problems before they even start. Heather will be in charge of the pepper spray and stun gun (I think tazers are illegal, since they shoot those prong things).

"What if you are unable to find a job?"


Then we just come back to shit ass Fresno, and we're in the exact same spot we're in now. Only we had a much needed vacation!!

"You mentioned you have a new son, do you fear for his safety?"

No, not in the least bit. That's not saying I'm not worried about anything happening to him, but this is all planned out with every conceivable scenario and options. You might be thinking he's too young to be going with us on a trip of this nature, but what's the difference between what we are doing, and taking him on the usual road trip with us? There is no difference, except the time spent doing this, and the methods of how we get along each day.

"Do you plan to scope out the locations before heading there?"

Most definitely, it would be very unwise to not do so. We will take a little road trip to Santa Cruz first, stay at a hotel, eat out, blend in with the locals, hit up some hippie shacks, and see what's up with the area. The ideal place would be easy access to the beach, easy access to shops and other places, and a lot of people. The crowd scene should be like Haight Ashbury in San Francisco.

Typical recon of an area includes:

• Conversing with shopkeeps (tea shops, trinket stands, new age shops, craft shacks etc...)
• Posted flyers
• Places to eat
• Talking to the fellow hippies
• Partying with the fellow hippies :)

"You're nuts."

I know.

Prepare for Adventure!

Fresno is dirty, no jobs to be found, more than half the people here have no business at all driving a vehicle, summer is approaching, and in Fresno there is no Spring. It just jumps from Winter straight to Summer. And believe me, Summers in Fresno are NOT fun in the slightest.

Heather and I have been discussing getting out of here for about a year now, and with Summer right around the corner, our motivation has significantly increased. Our plan to get out of here is as follows:

Tomorrow I go to take my assessment test at Clovis Adult School so I can enroll and get my HS Diploma. With little Liam in our lives, it is imperative I get this. Heather will look for work, so to accumulate funds for our initial costs of leaving here. Once I know my schedule at school after enrolling, I can look for part time work to contribute as well.

Once all that is taken care of and we have a decent amount of funds (we plan on taking at the minimum $5000), and take care of getting all the things together we will need, we sell all the crap we don't use or need, and give the rest to Salvation Army or some charitable organization.

Then we hit the road to Santa Cruz or Monterey or some place along the coast. There, we live a nomadic and gypsy life in my van. While there, our ultimate goal will be for both of us to find jobs and score an apartment.

A lot of people do this, and usually make the mistake of discussing this with their friends and family members and end up getting discouraged by what they have to say, because obviously, the nomadic and gypsy way of life is not for most people, nor is it accepted by the general population.

My next entry will be the specifics of how we will live, why it will work, and why it is so much better than trying to "make it" in society.

The gift of the Ego

(Not my writing, I took this excerpt from http://www.youaretrulyloved.com/enlightenment/, written by Ariel Bravy. I could have written this myself, but I don't think I could have done a better job.)

Let’s have some fun and play God.

Imagine you live in the world of the Absolute, where everything is perfect, loving, whole, united, connected, and wonderful.

That’s great and all, but you can’t really understand or appreciate anything because you’ve never experienced its opposite.

So you’re God and you decide you want to blow yourself up into an infinite number of smaller versions of yourself, all of whom can experience the universe from every possible angle and vantage point.

Now, there’s no way to not be who you are. The next best thing you can do is to forget.

What’s a great way of doing this? Give these little pieces of yourself an ego.

The ego is basically what allows you to create the illusion of and thus experience the exact opposite of who you are. You choose to do this because it allows you to experience BOTH who you are and who you are not.

With this new gift of the ego, you can experience fear. Now you will be able to fully appreciate love.

You can experience duality. Now you will be able to appreciate nonduality.

You can experience time. Now you will be able to fully appreciate everything happening at once.

You can experience being disconnected from yourself. Now you will be able to fully appreciate how amazing it is to be fully connected to yourself.

You need to be that which you are NOT in order to appreciate that which you ARE. But because it’s impossible to be that which you are NOT, you can create the illusion of everything that is not and think that it’s actually real.

You are really God. You are consciousness. You are one with everything. You have just been given this gift of the ego in order to be able to experience what it’s like to be yourself and not be yourself.

You are enlightened. It is your true nature. The mind is just sitting on top, yapping away, telling you that this illusion is real.

Surrender is simply releasing all of the illusion and coming back home to your true self. It’s letting go of the illusion. Everyone has had the opportunity to play with energies of both pain and pleasure, “good” and “bad.”

The ego makes all this possible. It’s what creates even the possibility of good and evil.

So don’t try to disown your ego or hate it. Love it, for it is the special gift which lets us experience and appreciate all of life. Thank you ego. I love you.

When you’re ready, simply surrender the ego as something you no longer need. You put it down just like any other toy you’re finished playing with. Surrender it away and reconnect back to your true self.

That’s all enlightenment really boils down to.

Unconditional Love

What is unconditional love?

Simply put, unconditional love means loving without conditions. It means loving all aspects of life both sentient, and non sentient. It means not choosing to love one, but not the other for whatever reasons there may be.

Ex: Loving a cute cuddly little kitten, but not sharing the same appreciation for a spider you find in the shower, that is conditional love.

Ex: Loving your family and friends, but not the guy who honks his horn at you, flips you off, and blows past you in traffic, that is conditional love.

This is a difficult concept to accept. It's hard, I know. I find myself even getting mad at things not worth my energy and forgetting to show love for all life. The best anyone can do is recognize when they are forgetting this and try to correct themselves.

The truth is, unconditional love is all that exists. We set up conditions which prevent us from loving everything equally. And since those conditions\barriers we set up are not real in the first place, conditional love is not the real nature of things.

The true nature of things is love, that is all. Love is our true nature, love is the one and all.

Going to the analogy I said previously: Unconditional love can be likened to the Sun, Earth, and the clouds. Unconditional love (or just Love) is the Sun...it is there, always has been there. The clouds are your emotions, thoughts, barriers preventing the light of love to shine through on you, the Earth. So the light of love only hits little areas, if any at all.

Some of us have a cloudy day, some of us have dark foreboding storms that blacken the entire sky, and some of us have clear beautiful days without a cloud in the sky.

What's your day like?

What is Enlightenment?

The term enlightenment refers to the state of mind, where you recognize your inherent true nature, and feel a connectedness with everyone and everything. You no longer live for just yourself, but for all of mankind, for all sentient/non sentient beings

First, let us talk about what enlightenment is NOT.

Enlightenment is not something you strive for, attain, or hold on to. It's simply what you are, your true nature. Everybody is born enlightened, most grow up and lose that state of mind...conditioned to think in destructive patterns, believing that somehow they are seperate from everyone and everything, and all the world goes on spinning, interdependent of them.

Even the quest to reach enlightenment can be detrimental to your progress...if there is in fact any path to progress on. That's the paradox of this whole concept. We already are, yet we search and strive to to be what we already are. Still following?

Let's look deeper in to the subject. Most of us have a preconceived notion of what enlightenment is. It's eternal happiness, it's a major body buzz, it elevates you and puts you above the rest of mankind, you are somehow better than everybody else.

There is an old zen koan that describes this perfectly:

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. He was well educated and versed in Eastern philosophy. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!”

“Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?”

Zen, simple mind, beginners mind, enlightenment.

So just how do you reach (or for a better term, remember) to be enlightened? You can't. Sorry, just not going to happen.

PAY ATTENTION!!!

That is because there is no right way to do it, and no wrong way to do it. It just is. What one can do instead of "searching" for enlightenment, one should instead search in themselves what is "preventing" enlightenment. Everyone can benefit from doing this, myself included.

This can be likened to the analogy of the Sun, Earth, and the clouds.

Enlightenment is the Sun. It is there, it always has been there. The clouds are your thoughts, emotions, preconceived notions, anything that is blocking the light from reaching you, the Earth.

Look in yourselves and search for the barriers that are blocking the real you from shining through. You will be surprised how easy it is to feel your true self and unconditional love, rather than your ranting raving ego, and its selective options of who deserves love and who does not.

More on that later.

Heaven & Hell

Ah, here we go! A most controversial subject, bound to raise some opinions...as well as tempers!!

Where is Heaven, and where is Hell? If we don't obey some kind of (almost dogmatic) religion that states if we put any other Gods before God, or if we commit any sins in this list of ten rules (not nine, or eleven, but TEN), we will be judged and sent to Hell to wallow in eternal suffering...unless we recognize our sins and make a full transgretion or something.

Well, where exactly IS this hell? And where exactly is Heaven? Are they in space? Are they in the clouds? Are they in another dimension? In the middle of the Earth?

First, let's look at how it is literally impossible to piss off God (assuming He exists in the first place). He is the creator, and we are the creation. That says it all right there. We all have this notion that God is this vengeful dude up in the clouds or whatever, with a white beard watching and listening to every single thing we do. How can one little carbon unit offend such a supreme intellect with our human antics? How can we be "judged" for having free will? If the creator wanted us to have "no Gods before him", then He would have just made us without free will. If the creator knew not all of us would worship\pay reverence to Him, nor act in accordance to what is right...what right does He have to judge us for that? Sounds like He lost sight of what He was getting in to, and needs to re-evaluate exactly what is expected of us...or He just really failed at His design lol. There goes that "infallible" thing. One might even say He is playing some kind of sick joke, punishing us based on the way we act.

That would be like going up to a defenseless little kitten and declaring "I am going to smite you for being you!" Dude just needs to find something else better to do.

Duality. That is the problem. We are conditioned in to discerning between right and wrong. Truth is, there is neither. There just is. That is it. Religions (most christian religions anyway) teach us to dissasociate ourselves with the One. Call it God, call it Being, call it whatever you want. They preach that we are somehow seperate from God, and that to get in His good graces we need to obey and conform to a certain way, pray, pay homage, whatever. And THEN maybe, after our lives are over, we may be reconnected with Him and prance around in heaven and enjoy eternal bliss. That is what they call the RIGHT thing to do.

The WRONG thing to do is stray from this path, do what you want (within moral standards of course...even then nothing is wrong really), pray to whome you choose, have sex all you want, have relationships with who you want, etc etc...

Welcome to duality. Good vs Evil, Right vs Wrong, Up vs Down, Rich vs Poor...

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DUALITY!! There is only the One. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, no good or bad. There just is.

So back to the question, where is Heaven and Hell? Well, if you're even remotely paying the slightest attention to this, then you will have already come to the conclusion Heaven and Hell simply do not exist. Duality.

"But duality DOES exist! I mean we talk about it, it's in scriptures, it obviously exists." That's because we have a NOTION of this, it helps us discern things in physical life, and helps to define the way we perceive the world. In all actuality it's totally fabricated...by us. and this is not the way reality works.

The CLOSEST thing to Heaven and Hell that I can describe, is how we create our realities. There is Heaven, there is Hell, there are both, and there are neither. If everyone around you is suffering, but you are at total calmness, total silence, total peace with yourself...They are in Hell and you are in Heaven. All coexisting at the same time. No duality.

So just what the Hell is going on here (no pun intended)? Open your eyes and think for yourself. Question authority (in the religious sense, or any sense for that matter). Don't take everything at face value...not even the things I have said just now...you have to experience it for yourself.

We are not seperate from anything. That is the illusion. We are all One, part of the One. Some call it God, others call it the Source. The ocean refuses no river, so what does it matter what route we take? We're all going the same way, names do not matter, what matters is that we recognize our inherent true nature and awaken to the reality that everything is perfect. You literally create your own Heaven and Hell. You literally create your own existence. We ARE God, we are the One.

How's that for a first entry? :)